He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
