I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
