i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
These tits shall not be calmed
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
