Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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