in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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