hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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