i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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