Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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