Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
