But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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