wat bout pragnant strippers??
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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