I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
