you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
