I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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