it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
