Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
