Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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