i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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