It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
