First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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