I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
