Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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