we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
