i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
