1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
