Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
