Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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