GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
