it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
