Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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