Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
