All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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