I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
