His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
