I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I would fuck him just for his dog
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
