gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I need water and some morals
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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