If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
