I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
