I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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