I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
"it" just moved
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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