Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
