i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
