And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
