Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
