Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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