doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
