So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
