I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
