Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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