my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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