i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
