i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
