can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
